Today was one of the biggest days in the donor egg IVF cycle (our fourth cycle in total) that we’ve been undergoing this past month. Not only did our egg donor, Marie, fly back to the U.S. (feeling slightly less bloated, finally), but we were also booked for a 9:50am embryo transfer in Belgium. I woke up at our Airbnb full of hope, filled my bladder as instructed, and made my way to the hospital with my husband.
The last we heard, most of our 15 embryos were still doing really well. On day 3, eleven of the embryos were exactly the right size (8 cells), three more were slightly too small (5-6), and one was too large (>8 cells). Even if those last four were out, eleven still seemed like a really good number. It was also exactly 11x better than my three previous IVF cycles combined.
On day 4, we only had a brief call with the egg donation nurse, but she said that most of the embryos were still doing really well. In particular, while they had not yet advanced enough to be rated & ranked, they were starting to ‘compact’ as desired, and were on their way to transforming into day-5 blastocytes. This gave us confidence that we should go ahead and make our way to Belgium the night before, since there should definitely be something to transfer.
The good news
The good news is that there was one blastocyte to transfer: an intermediate 5-day blastocyte rated good/fair. Since we didn’t have any embryos make it to day-5 with our last IVF cycle, and since our first two cycles used 3-day transfers (where it’s harder to tell if the embryos are good quality), this is officially further than we’ve ever made it before.
The doctor triple-checked my name, retrieved the embryo from the lab in what is essentially a high-tech turkey baster, and squirted that sucker in in probably less than 60 seconds flat. This means that I am now (for the third time) what we refer to in the infertility community as ‘PUPO’: pregnant until proven otherwise.
The bad news
In addition to the news that the embryo we transferred today isn’t of the highest quality (with only a 17% chance of sticking it out for the long haul), we were also a bit shocked to learn that it’s currently the only decent blastocyte. This news really came out-of-the-blue, since everything had been going so well (almost too well?) up until this point.
What about all of the other 14 embryos, you’re probably thinking? Well a lot happens on days 4-5, and it’s common for many perfectly good-looking 3-day embryos to not make it to the blastocyte stage. This is partly why clinics do 5-day transfers: so they can wait and see which embryos are really viable. I’ve seen the number 40% bandied about, so it seems like we’re doing below-average. On the other hand, while two of our remaining embryos are definitely already out (having reached the blastocyte stage, but being rated as poor-quality), it is theoretically possible that a couple of the remaining ones could make it to the blastocyte stage tomorrow. If they are good enough quality, they can then be frozen for later attempts.
So is this really that bad? Normally I would be thrilled to even get to this stage. But since we used an egg donor this cycle for the first time, and since her egg quality/quantity was an order of magnitude better than mine, I had let myself get my hopes up (rookie mistake!) that we’d end up with at least a couple high-quality blastocytes. That would make all of this effort (from Marie, in particular) seem more worth it, and it would give us an ‘insurance policy’ in the form of another attempt.
Without the insurance policy of frozen embryos, it means that if this current ’embaby’ doesn’t stick, we have to start all over yet again, most likely with another donor/in another country (not to mention the financial cost). And I’m getting really, really tired of starting over.
What happens now?
We’re still waiting to hear if any of the slower-growing embryos will be high enough quality to freeze. Other than that, it’s a tense two-week wait until my blood test on 13 August.
In the meantime, I’m finding support in the amazing community of fellow #IVFwarriors I’ve discovered on Instagram. And I’m getting wicked pleasure out of reporting all of the maternity-themed targeted ads in my Instagram feed as ‘Inappropriate/offensive’. Because #infertilitysucks.